Ask Deacon Mike

I write to you today looking at my calendar and seeing December 1 pop out at me. Can you believe it? This year has gone by so quickly. Many things have happened to us this year for which I am most grateful. I am not sure exactly what I would rank as the most significant. But upon reflection I think that distinction has to go to all of you for your warmth and love and support not just of my ministry but for the mission of our entire parish. As our Mission Statement says we proclaim Christ’s love to all. To be part of that with all of you makes me most grateful.

There are several things I would like to address with you. They are in no special order. So here goes.

I was asked about our new outdoor Stations of the Cross and when they will be dedicated. First of all, if you have not had a chance to visit them please do so. They are remarkable. Our Knights of Columbus have done a magnificent job of clearing and preparing the area and erecting the Stations. Through the generosity of many of our parishioners the crosses bearing the stations and the benches for sitting and reflecting were purchased. Our Knights did all of the work as a service to all of us.

The Stations will be dedicated sometime next spring. We want to wait until the ground is a little more firmed up and less sloppy from the rain. We are waiting to hear back to see when one of our bishops will be available to come and bless and dedicate them for us. We will let you know as more information becomes available.

The question about the stations was really aimed at if we can still go ahead and use them even if they have not yet been blessed and dedicated. This is a very good question. The short answer is yes. The mere fact that they exist is proof of God’s approval and blessing. The formal blessing will be a time for us to publicly give thanks to those who gave, those who built and to God who provides all good things for us.

Another question I was asked concerns the marriage ceremony. A person asked if it was inappropriate for a bride to be escorted by her father down the isle or “given away”. This person heard that the Church had changed this and now forbade it. I think a little catechesis is needed here.

First of all, no one “gives” another person away. The very nature of marriage is that only the parties involved give themselves. Marriage is the free commitment of a man and a woman to each other in union with God and in the presence of the Church’s minister and others whom the couple ask to witness their exchange of vows. Second, the celebrants of this sacrament are the man and woman, themselves. The ordained minister merely witnesses in the name of the Church. For this reason the Church suggests that as the ceremony begins the bride and groom walk together down the isle. As the celebrants of the sacrament they actually would be last in the procession. However, the Church certainly allows for valid local customs to prevail. So, if a bride wishes to be escorted by her father or mother (or both), then that is proper and allowed.

Finally, I have been asked to address a situation that occurred at one of our Sunday Masses a few weeks ago. Someone got up during a homily and went and asked the parents of a fussy child to leave the church. While I do not want to make more of this than it really is there are several points that must be made – all for pastoral purposes. Be assured that I am not speaking solely for myself here but for Fr. Roncase, also. Nor am I defending or condoning what was done.

No one, absolutely no one has any right to ask another parishioner to leave Mass. Mass is for everyone, including fussy children. Now you might say that if we had a cry room perhaps everyone would be accommodated. I think you would be wrong. Children need to be taught how to behave in all types of situations, at home, at church, at social events, etc. Taking them out only plays into their desire to not be contained. Jesus tells us to let the little children come to Him. Sequestering them and isolating them goes against that notion. We had a cry room in my church back home. Most of the time, it was occupied by older folks who did not want to be around other people. That sort of goes against the idea of Mass.

Having said this, if a child creates such a disturbance then perhaps they are not ready to be brought to Mass. Many parents of younger children go to separate Masses for a while until the child can be taught to behave properly.

It amazes me when people take their kids out to the vestibule and let them start to run around. Remember, those doors are glass and we can still see you. There is no separation wall so the noise can still be heard. I suggest parents work with their child rather than give in. Again, if they are not ready to be taught then other arrangements should be made. Besides, one’s obligation to participate in Mass cannot be fulfilled if one is chasing a child around the back of the church. I know this is a touchy subject. But we must learn to deal with it as best we can. If you have questions or concerns, please see Fr. Roncase or me.

Well this wraps it up for 2009. If you have any questions or comments that you would like for me to address concerning the Church, sacraments or any religious issue please send me an e-mail at deaconmikefranks@verizon.net. I assure you that your identity will be kept anonymous. If you would like to remain anonymous even to me then just drop a note in the collection basket or send it to the rectory to my attention.

As we journey through Advent and prepare for the coming of our Savior I pray that you grow closer to Our Lord through your charity towards one another. God bless you and remember: I love you all. Deacon Mike Franks