Ask Deacon Mike

Proper Behavior in Church

I have received a very large number of questions, comments and even complaints about the behavior of people (young children as well as adults) in Church, especially during Mass. Now let me begin by saying that I am not a strict disciplinarian. However, we must always remember that when we are in Church we are in the real presence of Jesus Christ in the Blessed Sacrament reserved in the tabernacle. We must also remember that the Church is not intended to be a social hall nor a play area for our children. While it is certainly appropriate to greet one another it is not appropriate to disturb others who are in prayer with our loud conversation (I, too, am guilty), laughter and movements. To allow children to run down isles, in and out of rows of pews and even crawl under the communion rail into the sanctuary can be very dangerous. Just imagine how tragic it would be if one of these little ones fell and hurt themselves. Having said this, allow me to expand on the issues which have been brought to my attention.

Coming Late for Mass

You may have noticed that once the procession forms in the back of Church we do not allow people to come through the doors. This is being done by the ushers / greeters at the request of Fr. Roncase, our visiting priests and me. Many times people try to come through the door to get to a pew while we are waiting to go down the isle. There have been numerous times where the priest, me and even the servers have literally been bumped and pushed out of the way. This cannot be tolerated. I will not even address the issue of coming late for the start of Mass. I know there are sometimes very good reasons. Sometimes there are not. I will just leave it at that. However, it is both disrespectful and dangerous to push your way through, especially to the servers who are holding lighted candles. The ushers / greeters have been instructed to block the doors until the procession has gone down the isle.

Movement During the Reading of Sacred Scripture

Jesus is just as present to us in the Scripture as He is in the Blessed Sacrament. Therefore, the same reverence and respect must be paid to the readings at Mass. Once the readings have begun the ushers / greeters have been instructed not to let anyone through the doors as this might distract those in the pews from hearing the Word of God. Once the reading has finished people may quickly come in to find a seat.

From where I sit I cannot help but notice how many children (even a few adults) immediately get up and go to the restroom or just to the vestibule when the readings start. Again, there are always legitimate reasons. However, I also notice that in many cases it is the same people. Parents, it is our responsibility to our children to teach them proper behavior. It is also our duty to avail our children to the Word of God. They may not always understand what they hear but as they grow older it will eventually start to make sense to them. Allowing them to wander around deprives them of their right as Christians to hear God’s Word.

At nearly every Mass I see people walking around, coming to / from restrooms, holding children etc. during the Consecration. At this most holy moment when Jesus, the Son of God, becomes physically present to us we should be in a posture that reflects our respect and reverence of what is happening right before us. I even watched a person fill out a check during the Consecration one day. If you find yourself in this situation, please think about what is happening at that moment. Not only are you missing this wonderful opportunity to adore Our Lord but your movements distract others as well.

Leaving Mass Before the Song Has Ended

Again, there are always times when someone needs to leave early. It is unfortunate but it happens. However, to leave before the song has finished is the same as cutting a prayer in half or not even saying the prayer at all. There is nothing we can do to stop this. However, we have now begun the policy that no bulletins will be passed out until the procession has reached the back of Church. Nor will there be any SCRIPT sold until the procession has ended. To do otherwise only encourages people from not completing their prayer at Mass.

As you may now be aware we have a guitar group playing at various Masses during the month. We are certainly grateful for this addition to our music ministry. However, it was brought to my attention that people leaving Mass before the music ends going out the side door where the choir and musicians assemble has become problematic. It seems that people bump into the musicians while they are playing. This is really inexcusable. If you must leave early at least be considerate enough to walk around the front pew and exit that way.

Choir Loft

We have had many discussions concerning completely closing the choir loft. From a liturgical perspective there is no reason to seclude oneself from the rest of the congregation. The Church teaches us that Jesus is also present to us in the assembly just as much as He is present in the Word or the Blessed Sacrament. Some people feel that they are better off taking their young children up to the choir loft in case they become restless and disturb others. The problem is that it disturbs our musicians and choir. They have told me of many instances where people talking, cracking gum, talking on cell phones or children crying or running around distract them from their ministry. We will continue to leave the choir loft open. However, no one is permitted beyond the designated areas. Several times, as recently as this past Christmas Eve, people have let their children run around and as a result stops on the organ, switches on the amplifiers and positions of microphones have been changed. With all of the cords running along the floor it is a dangerous place to allow children to run free. Entrance to the choir loft is through the designated door only. Our ushers have been instructed to keep an eye on the activities up there. If the problem worsens we may be forced to close the choir loft to anyone other than those who have a need to be there.

I hope that none of what you read here is offensive. However, these are important matters that needed addressed. If you have issues, please do not argue or scold the users or greeters. Come to Fr. Roncase or me and we will try to explain better. We hope that using this forum will suffice in getting the message across. May God bless you and, as always, I love you all. Deacon Mike Franks